before diving right in the meat of the title i would like to say i am sorry; my hilarious commentary on fifty shades is being delayed by three more days because i blew through my net allowance pack by watching too many iisuperwomanii and screen junkies on YouTube! i know i am so selfish please don’t be mad 😦 …i do not want to risk my full fledged commentaries on the capricious nature of oldy-slow internet so i am doing a short follow up on my previous post .
the basic reason on why these “jacobs” irritate me to no end is quite simple and might be complicated to some people. i mean what is wrong with a female character having a male Mr friend zone? but here is the deal- all those damsels having a male friend in the guise of torch bearer, just seems to drive the point of women-men friendship sanctity in question and it is a big deal for me. my father had a transferable army job and the only constant i ever had was the love of my parents and friendship of some of the most amazing kids ( now grown-ups) i ever had the fortune to meet. girls, guys, teachers, lab assistants and many more, i realize the preciousness of it.
but then comes these whose only motivation to be such a great friend to our brown haired damsels is that they secretly nurse a crush on her just undermines their friendship. already the “bellas” have few to no friends whatsoever and then the only best friend who is good to them has romance and sexual attractions as their primary driving force behind their relationships puts a whole level of misogynistic concepts into recollection- women in many small or big backward society still could not mingle with men from the outside because of this patriarchal notion of women “tempting men to sin”. Victorian period, especially early ones, noted to have women and men and separate compartments even to the extent of marriage companionship( men in cigar rooms, women in parlor and nursery . two separate bedchambers for the elitist and rich)
now some might say, just one or two instances in some popular romance cannot imprint such a radical notion on our psyche and i am myself, advocate this idea that just because some idea of derogation( patriarchy, misogyny, elitism, classicism,fanaticism and so on…) is there it does not mean it is endorsed or it could create such disconcerting implications.
but then i look at how those brown-haired girls have no other valuable companionship ( man or women) other than “Jacobs” . emotional struggle from other relationship has token to zero value on page- bella from twilight struggles between Jacob and Edward and not her human life and vampire world.many recent romances like beautiful disaster series and fifty shades series and so on, have this problem.friendship, familial love, love of a different life seems to be missing and ,in my opinion, stephenie Meyer’s twilight series is the worst and a picture perfect example of this. e l James at least nips the bud quite early and clearly even if this bella/ana has her friend kate taken away to Barbados and has half page dialogue a whole book later( not bad but could have done better and passed the Bechdel test)
so i ask all writers of romance and other affiliated genre’s out there, why can’t a heroine have a dedicated male friend whose primary motivation is not love/sex? why can’t he feel passionately protective unless she is beautiful and frail to him? why can’t a lady have a strong friendship with someone who is a man and does not have bi-sexual, gay stereotype hanged around him( yes, i am looking at you Sylvia Day) ? why does the “bellas” in question have to be so damnably immature/stupid or plain ass as to “use” those “jacobs” so as to those Jacobs now have “legitimate” reason to insidiously make their pass at them? why can’t you all stop being so misogynistic?
PS: Sylvain Reynard recently scored my brownie point by making her eponymous heroine Raven have friend who is not at all interested to be “more” and his name is Patrick. as of yet Reynard’s florentine series has one book left, so let us see 😉