fifty shades of stupid situations :-P

chapter 1

“i scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror.damn my hair-it just won’t behave,…”

okay so, this has to be the most idiotic opening line of any book whatsoever, what do we infer from this? yeah, our heroine is frustrated and cursing the world for making her look stupid.

I must not sleep with it wet.I must not sleep with it wet.Reciting this mantra several times, i attempt,once more, to bring it under control with the brush.”

oh golly, she is going to pontificate on it for so long as the first paragraph and we are now cheerfully informed that this girl is from the first world otherwise who cares about frizzy hair now? #firstworldproblems. also we need to know how is she going

to bring control.

on her hair.

with her.brush.( did you see what i did there? 😉 ..foreshadowing)

Kate is my roommate, and she has chosen today of all days to succumb to the flu….. As an exceptional entrepreneur and major benefactor of our University, his time is extraordinarily precious – much more precious than mine – but he has granted Kate an interview. A real coup, she tells me. Damn her extra-curricular activities. ….. Only for you, Kate, would I do this. 

she curses her friend hell and back for being ill, for being a in a leadership role in college and then does a complete 180° and gives us the cheesy line that she will waste her time for her. we understand, your inner monologue are not to be taken seriously. thanks for the heads up!( it also explains her future schizophrenia with naming and making her subconscious tut and dance. 😛 )

seriously though it has been three pages and only thing we could gather about her here is that Anastasia hates her hair wet during sleep, hates getting her time wasted, going for a interview she cannot bother to open Wikipedia for research and has a dear friend and roomie Kate ( full name yet unknown -_- )

“Excuse me one moment, Miss Steele.” She arches her eyebrow slightly as I stand selfconsciously before her. I am beginning to wish I’d borrowed one of Kate’s formal blazers rather than wear my navy blue jacket. I have made an effort and worn my one and only skirt, my sensible brown knee-length boots and a blue sweater. For me, this is smart. I tuck one of the escaped tendrils of my hair behind my ear as I pretend she doesn’t intimidate me

cardigan and shabby skirt at an office area which she knew is a real coup to get interview for and could not bother to go in her friend’s closet? if this is smart, then i do not want to know what she finds silly and this is a clear nod to fan-fiction roots #nodtostephenie meyer . and a immaculate looking receptionist looking at her funny is intimidating huh? okay so now we know Steele has low tolerance for freaking out, what will she do when she is will be put through many more miss professional power dressers in this office? freak some more of course.

I’ve never been comfortable with one-on-one interviews, preferring the anonymity of a group discussion where I can sit inconspicuously at the back of the room.

well that is not how group discussion works Miss cardigan-is-smart-in-business Steele.( kill me now, this chapter has already provides us with three instances of freak-ery from this girl 😛 )

I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet, and falling head first into the office. Double crap –

#nodtostepheniemeyer part-2.when is anything going to happen in this chapter, god! this book will take forever to tear through 😦

“Um. Actually–” I mutter. If this guy is over thirty then I’m a monkey’s uncle. In a daze, I place my hand in his and we shake. As our fingers touch, I feel an odd exhilarating shiver run through me. I withdraw my hand hastily, embarrassed. Must be static. I blink rapidly, my eyelids matching my heart rate.

are we all supposed to find this blikny-blik-blink routine heart-stopping? serisously, this book is always asking for too much

okay, i will concede for only pinkie pie!

 

see you soon for next chapter. buh-bye!

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