mercifully absent from fifty shades movie…yet.

those who watched the movie of the same title fifty shades of grey , must be in a state of “ignorance is bliss” because they are missing such wonderfully, idiotic phrases and pitfall ideas from the internal monologue from anastasia.

without much further ado …

“hangs from his hips”

what does that even suppose to mean?? my best guess was at first that they are supposed to highlight how hot christian looks with his chiseled hip!? i am confused.   then i looked at it some more and then it looked even more absurd. keep repeating-HANG, FROM, HIS, HIPS. she does not not notice our hunky hero’s bicep or tri-cep or broad shoulders-leading me to believe he does have any- but hip! this is the most absurd thing anyone has ever noticed and that it was before their coffee date. then mercifully she notices those but only after he take off his shirt after sleeping with her-proving what a slow synapse, dullard she is. which Dakota does not need to add in her notes, whew!

 

 

despite the abs, if someone comes in front of me wearing pants there! i don’t think anybody will be impressed. what were we all thinking finding this sexy?

 

 

“inner goddess”

we first meet this absurd, dance master psyche of anastasia  when christian kisses her.not her! this inner goddess but Anastasia! i know you are confused how they are related but i assure the only way to her location is not so very helpful- “my very small…” so she is smaller than her and our first schizophreniac imaginary friend-like foster’s home for imaginary friends  but weirder and with more sex. basically she likes anything and everything with sex, thinking be damn! she is very boring in respect to her schizo sister……

“subconscious”

oh man but she is snarky! and so awesome she always harps exactly what a fool anastasia is, ironically being a product of that stupid brain herself. maybe that is why ana does not bother to name her beyond subconscious , like, snarky mistress or harpy maniac or -keeping with Ana’s love for old British literature- Lady Pompadour!.even anastasia admits such a wonderful part is so underused- not keeping with warnings about potential rapists and gun attacks.”try to be cool, Ana”- see ! what wonderful ideas she has! like that is even possible for ana.     assure you in all seriousness s.he is the gold mine of comedy, with once in a while ore in it.

“orange juice”

thirst quenching, refreshing, and the most holy as well, considering it is called divine over and over.enough said! Bad Books Good Times, you get all the credit for this.

“wine”

this is a personal peeve of mine on how this svelte characters, as they progress the novel become more svelte to my bewilderment.why you ask? i mean how the hell they manage to loose weight and make abs drinking 2-3 cups/ glasses of wine at minimum? it escalates to 5-10 glasses of one form of wine or cock-tail or other. from a student who never got drunk to a women who is on the verge of being drunk everyday this is a lot of constitution progress. i might as well mention they don’t eat much chicken as well, instead they opt for fish all the time.which i hate.i hate fish!

damn you!

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