Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell-or should we say Edward II and Gaveston?

while doing drama section of my part-II section of Calcutta university, i had Christopher’s Marlowe’s scandalous ( of his time) copy of Edward the second to write five major critical essays for my yearly exam and i thought “ it feels like i saw something similar in game of thrones! lol”

i guess my mind finally deigned to make that connection 1 year later. oh no!

Gaveston is introduced to us in this 1594 play as vagrant, flamboyant favorite of the newly crowned Edward the second whose sole aim right now is to “ be the favorit of a king[?]” , to impress him with expensive masques and shows and basically employ boys to show their parts which “men enjoy” and to “draw the plaint king”, so that he could climb the social ladder and then has affair with the king’s niece. whereas, the poor Edward battles the wrath of his barons and snubs his increasingly despondent queen Isabella( thanks again to Gaveston’s rumors which he spreads through the king’s protection) all for his love for Gaveston. basically he is a blackguard whose love caused a good king’s horrific and tragic end in Marlowe’s play and then he himself dies at the hands of those homophobic , snobby barons.

these gems!:

My father is deceast, come Gaveston,’
‘And share the kingdom with thy deerest friend.
Ah words that make me surfet with delight:
What greater blisse can hap to Gaveston,
Then live and be the favorit of a king?
Sweete prince I come, these these thy amorous lines,
Might have enforst me to have swum from France,
And like Leander gaspt upon the sande,
So thou wouldst smile and take me in thy armes
.”- act 1 scene i

and then…:

Baldock
Tis like enough, for since he was exild,
She neither walkes abroad, nor comes in sight:
But I had thought the match had beene broke off,
And that his banishment had changd her minde.

Spencer
Our Ladies first love is not wavering,
My life for thine she will have Gaveston.- act 2 scene i 

so much for true love!

then we have this flowery Renly ‘knight of THE flowers” (whatever that supposed to mean) who goads Renly “not-traumatized-by-parent’s-death” Baratheon to be a good king over and over by the power of blow-job sorcery. Renly the good and naive then breaks every succession law on land makes a bid for the iron throne and dies at the shadow-hand of Stannis and Melisandre’s evil shadow baby. but how to show that Renly was so not worth this horrific end?? how to overcome GRRM’s timeline in which rely dies before his “ Gaveston”?oh of course! make him a dumb, whiny, lace-loving stereotype who eye-fucks Oberyn and gives his feather bed plenty of exercise with Olyver. then make him a prisoner of faith Taliban( thank you @wendynerdwrites for the term). he would probably die because of some homophobic, snobby religious people now.  yay! problem solved, DAN and DAVID successfully adapted Marlowe’s not so famous play and nobody sniffed it.

freakin’ liars, cannot even make an original disaster.

P.S: cover photo of the play is taken from amazon.com.

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INGREDIENTS FOR A PERFECTLY INSANE TWILIGHT CRAP BOOK.

i hereby name thee “the twilight-spawn”!!!!!!!!!!! drum-rolls please.

1. you need a first person POV , preferably a girl who is totally under-confident and has no qualities which she admires herself let alone others. mix in the fact her lips are super soft without lip balm and with what with the constant attempt to chew it, all non-toddler qualities ( no offence to toddlers).she can be all frail-looking, brown-haired, pale and petite although you could change it to curvy, blonde and short just so your rip-off does not become too obvious, oh no! we cannot be caught getting inspired by fan-fiction!

2. you need a super-hero of a hero who is so beautiful to look upon that even our allegedly super talented protagonist fails to describe him as anything less than “beautiful” without much attention to any specific detail. he should have dark hair, any unusual eye-color with stupid adjective and should be a complete and utter “charming” jerk. by some miracle our alleged lady loves him even when he does nothing but stop being a jerk fora while. what a super-power! P.S: he should definitely have some emotional baggage as well<- relevance and common sense may or may not apply.

3. our hero should have loads of money by any means necessary. nothing short of billionaire before 30 won’t do. it helps them being a jerk and a stalker without getting a restraining order you see..

4. our alleged smart heroine should also have an awesome job right away even though we see her do nothing at all to help her get it . wearing the designer closet and thousand dollars accessory courtesy Adonis( or filthy rich parents+ Adonis in case you wanna roll like  Sylvia Day)and then again doing nothing at all while she is at it. we only hear their boss singing a ballad in ode to our lady’s awesomeness! what tough life she lives #tears

Originally posted by weirdlifewelead

5. a tall skyscraper of building for our Adonis is a non-negotiable! he can have it as an office or as a place to own and live but he has to have at least one with super-sonic speed remote controlled, futuristic elevator banks. an allusion to his manhood *wink*

Originally posted by merryonette

6. our lady should have a snazzy best friend to rant her life-pain to, who may or may not be gay/bi-sexual, should be more promiscuous than our lady (just in case you decide to fore-go virginity clause for her) or even that can be optional if you go all Sylvian Reynard and make do with just…

Originally posted by katekavanaughgrey

7. a “jacob-paul-jose-brett” combo who is a stick figure with whom our Adonis fights with like a chew toy over our lady as trophy and on whom our lady cries out her heart-pain like he is a frikin’ pillow.he has to be a special kind of jerk too- you know, the one is more patronizing than anyone when rejection and friendzone looms nearby? that kind. he can or cannot be a P.O.C.

Originally posted by shirtlessmalecelebrities

8. Adonis should definitely have a family who is totes approving of our Lady no matter how little time she has spent with them and are deliriously happy that our Lady has made their beast of  boy so happy and manageable -not admitting parent-failure at their part and speaking of parenting failure, our Lady should also have lousy parents as well, who in some way or the other, are responsible for our Lady to choose a jerk and marry him.( whoops! spoiler to soon)

Originally posted by charliesswan

9. the tension in this formula-book should come from an antagonist who has no other job but to rip our star-crossed lovers apart! how awful!jumped out of the painful past of our Adonis so that our adonis can conquer it and becomes a better man ❤

10. last but definitely not the least, the final garnish should be marriage and babies with money( which our Lady will insist does not want but won’t donate to charity either)

Originally posted by dreamworksanimation

tada! best serve one after the other with a complimentary movie and/or television production which you can control and micro-manage 😀

Christian Grey versus Edward Cullen: who is more redeemable?-II

so in my previous article, i talked about how christian grey was delineated from the ashes of Edward Cullen, an in many ways more humanely better constructed to be called the staple romantic genre’s “damaged” hero. i want to put ‘hero’ in quotes too.      he is not a  romantic hero, he is just a man and that to a disturbed one. if anyone wants to tag romance in this , they should attach it it with it’s old definition with “Transformation” as the central theme, for example,original Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw as opposed to My Fair Lady.  

Gathering her in my arms, I lower us to the floor with Ana on top of me, both of us facing the ceiling. She’s utterly relaxed, exhausted no doubt; her weight a welcome comfort. I stare up at the karabiners, wondering if she’ll ever let me suspend her.

Probably not.
And I don’t care.- E l James, Grey
this is the crux of the matter. the actual text evidence i use when i look for clues that christian grey , in essence , can be redeemed or more practically taught better if given a chance ( and plenty of therapy and counselling). the concern that readers should get bad impression of BDSM and how relationship should be from this book is rested on the argument that they put christian on a pedestal of ideal romance . this could be a concern if weren’t for the fact that astute readers are aware that christian’s behavior is a taught on and it mirrors on how a an abuser would operate his relation: in control and discrete.
but here is the catch word: taught. the one who actually taught BDSM to a young teenager christian was, obviously, looking forward to not getting caught. what more could she ask for when the one she wants is in ripe condition mentally to believe whatever you lies she feeds him?
it is already known christian always felt grateful that Elena took control of his life and “saved him” from making bad decision. if that is true then, offering harsh sex in exchange for control will also entail in such situation that he must not question her motives. Elena Lincoln effectively feeds him lies. to convince him that it is he who is making choice, she never verbally states her desires but gives him breadcrumbs to follow.

She slapped me so hard.” Unconsciously, his hand moves to his face and he caresses his cheek, his eyes clouding at the memory. Holy shit!

“But then she kissed me. And when she finished, she slapped me again.” He blinks, seemingly still confounded even after all this time. “

this gives her an effective and permanent opening. she feeds him her lies which includes isolating him from his family, preying on his self-loathing to sexually and corporeally punish him for her sadistic pleasure, and convincing him that this what working for him and will work for him in the future while in reality giving him no real opening to test this theory( she volunteers as his first submissive and procures future submissives for him as well-we all know hat will that entail) .  in return, christian believes her and adores her advice, after all she stopped him from following a path ostensibly similar to that of his biological mother. in the same process, she effectively blames him and erodes his self-worth: she repeatedly tells him he was a slave to his rage and lust and hence was destined for self-destruction and ONLY her intervention saved him and hence , he should always be grateful-a classic technique by which abusers prey and brainwash on their victim.
years later and still in friendship with Elena, Christian meets anastasia and this arrangement of theirs start to unravel
  • Christian , for the first time, goes out of Elena’s influence to find his partner
  • Anastasia’s inexperience both sexually and relationship wise, ensures that each and every knowledge and intention Christian has about his lifestyle is questioned and challenged by someone. i mean an experienced BDSM submissive influenced and vetoed by elena would be having fun with the BDSM “punishments” christian makes up but only an inexperienced in this lifestyle or who is not into time negotiated slave arrangement will notice, christian does punishment with intents other than that of sexual gratification. the belt-hitting scene is the ultimate climax of this discovery.
  • nothing much happens in fifty shades freed except for we get this important scene in this series which is the pen-ultimate climax moment of this trilogy.
    “I would offer you my heartfelt congratulations, but I think that would be inappropriate .” Her piercing cold blue eyes stare frostily into mine, filled with loathing.
    “I neither need nor want your congratulations, Elena. I’m surprised and disappointed to see you here.” She arches an eyebrow. I think she’s impressed.
    “I wouldn’t have thought of you as a worthy adversary, Anastasia. But you surprise me at every turn.” “I haven’t thought of you at all,” I lie, coolly. Christian would be proud. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have much better things to do than waste my time with you.”
    “Not so fast, missy,” she hisses, leaning against the door, effectively blocking it. “What on earth do you think you’re doing, consenting to marry Christian? If you think for one minute you can make him happy, you’re very much mistaken.”
    “What I’m consenting to do with Christian is none of your concern.” I smile with sarcastic sweetness.she ignores me.

 

but the fact that christian broke their ties is enough that an teenage turned adult will magically stop all those things he learned about his sexuality and his coping mechanism? realistically it is not possible and even in this book, however magically short lived it was, the struggle period of the after effects still lingers over the course of time . the idea of controlling the safety of people he loves, his anger at his birth mother and his sexual choices are tied in a knotty ball in this trilogy. but the main antagonist to the romance at the moment here, is the influence of Elena.

Christian uses BDSM as a means to be abusive or “to take control” of a situation when he feels they are unraveling. he feels that if only he controls, then he and the ones he loves will be safe.  fifty shades freed   chapter 11 is the best example when  Elena’s influence and sexual brainwash collides head-on with Christian’s own desires and inclination when it comes to relationships and coping with people outside he could influence, mainly his sexual partners-Ana here.[ i am going to give as much quote as possible without altering the context , however, i would prefer if chapter 11 as a whole will be read instead]

“Playroom,” he murmurs. Oh—I don’t know if that’s a good idea. “You up for the challenge?” he asks. And because he’s used the word challenge, I can’t say no. “Bring it on,” I murmur, desire and something that I don’t want to name thrum through my body.

-note that anastasia is not made aware that she is being proceeded for punishment.

“Ah,” I groan while Christian’s fingers continue to move inside me. I’m close . . . all this stimulation . . . Tilting my head back, I moan loudly and Christian stills his fingers. All sensation stops. “No! Christian,” I plead, trying to thrust my hips forward for some friction. “Still, baby,” he says while my impending orgasm melts away. He leans for- ward once more and kisses me. “Frustrating, isn’t it?” he murmurs

Oh no! Suddenly I understand his game. “Christian, please.” “Hush,” he says and kisses me.
….
“Each time I stop, it feels more intense when I start again. Right?”
“Please,” I whimper. My nerve endings are screaming for release. The buzzing stops and Christian kisses me. He runs his nose down mine.
“You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met.” No, No, No.
“Christian, I never promised to obey you. Please, please—”
He moves in front of me, grabs my behind and pushes his hips against me, making me gasp—his groin rubbing into mine, the buttons of his jeans pressing into me, barely containing his erection. With one hand he pulls off the blindfold and grasps my chin, and I blink up into his scorching eyes.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispers,
–a classic abusive technique. taking your frustration on someone else. and guess who taught this to christian by using it in a BDSM scene? of course!my theory is that Elena used to punish Christian by “his preferred”method of harsh caning to stop his bouts of sliding back to drinking and rage habits back then. if it was effective for him then, why won’t it will be the same for his wife?, christian might think.–
“Why did you do that?” My voice is barely audible as I try to process my scrambled thoughts and feelings. He shakes his head sadly and closes his eyes. “I got lost in the moment,” he says unconvincingly. I frown at him, and he sighs. “Ana, orgasm denial is a standard tool in—You never—” He stops.

“So you are punishing me?” He swallows, then closes his eyes. He doesn’t have to answer, and I know that punishing me was his exact intention. “You have to stop doing this,” I murmur. His brow furrows. “For a start, you only end up feeling shittier about yourself.” He snorts. “That’s true,” he mutters. “I don’t like to see you like this.” “And I don’t like feeling like this. You said on the Fair Lady that you hadn’t married

a submissive.” “I know. I know.” His voice is soft and raw. page 241

so, there its is. christian’s abusive behavior in a nut-shell. he believes in one thing and does something else entirely because there is someone who is there to question him and challenge him to do so.this contradictory behavior can be be used to justify even that it is also done by many abusers of domestic, sexual and mental variety to ensnare their victim and they are correct but there lies a difference of intent: an abuser knows he is wrong and justifies it anyway but this character christian grey is just a newly disillusioned victim who is just discovering the extent of the damage done to his sexual and psychological trauma.
in conclusion we only have one small hope that there is a better conclusion for this story other than the condensed version of breaking-dawn  E L James wrote.

“Mrs. Robinson could touch you.” I murmur the words before my brain registers what I’ve said. Shit. Why did I mention her?
He stills. His eyes widen with his oh-no-where’s-she-going-with-this expression. “That was different,” he whispers.
Suddenly I want to know. “Good different or bad different?” He gazes at me. Doubt and possibly pain flit across his face, and fleetingly he looks like a man drowning. “Bad, I think.”
His words are barely audible. Holy shit!
“I thought you liked it.”
“I did. At the time.”

“Not now?” He gazes at me, eyes wide, then slowly shakes his head. Oh my . . .

therefore my opinion is, christian is too brainwashed to be considered a an abuser and too adult to be considered an innocent perpetrator.he is an in-between.
{ my last two rupee though: really e l james?? your abused hero has such a tremendous breakthrough and all you could write “Oh my”??????? aghhhh!}

 

Christian Grey versus Edward Cullen: who is more redeemable?

i am concluding my fifty shades commentary articles from today and i am extremely happy about it. in this process i realized that i may be not the most hilarious writer on the block-there are plenty of those around -but i do loved discovering new websites to see what kind of things they found funny. i laughed so hard, especially redlemonade and badbooksgoodtimes and there are many more( seriously just google “fifty shades of grey blog” and by page 4 on-wards you will find awesome funnies! my dream to reach there at least.sigh!)

SO TODAY I AM TALKING ABOUT..

i decide to tackle the most controversial and most debated aspect of this series in itself-Christian Grey. doing my bit of research psychologists, blog writers, general review writers and many more are divided into faction of either they hate him , is a harmful character to romantically idolize him or they idolize him anyway, usually into something which he is not. this was more prominent when e l James released her fourth in the series Grey ( fifty shades re-imagined from christian’s POV) when most of the reviewers were perplexed. they could not find the “controlling’, “alluring”, “domineering” personality they were looking for.many who hate the series and despise christian grey are satisfied to see that they have plenty of material to justify christian is “psychopath”, “sociopath”, “self-centered”, “domineering”(in a bad way, not the sexy time one) and so on and so forth. seriously, i am still baffled on how did they reached the”psycho” conclusion 😛 , the rest i can still understand.

it is true, christian grey is a domineering, sexist, hermit, disturbed , abusive, self-loathing and misguided fella, a very misguided fella. i will explain why. reading and re-reading this book, i feel the reasons of his behavior are much more articulate and relatable than the ones from whom this character  took root from: Edward Cullen.

to understand christian grey, we have to understand the basic underline of Edward Cullen created by Stephanie Meyer. fifty shades series, after all started off as a fan-fiction of twilight. knowing what i know of midnight sun and twilight series, Edward Cullen is equally domineering and even more abusive if you could believe it. and if the creation of Katherine Kavanaugh could be relied upon, e l James is completely aware of these traits.

  • “I think that is one huge coincidence, Ana. You don’t think he was there to see you?”
  •  “Ana, there’s something about him.” Her tone is full of warning. “He’s gorgeous, I agree, but I think he’s dangerous. Especially to someone like you.”
  • “I’m glad you’re back in one piece. There’s something about Christian,” [kate] adds quietly, apologetically. I give her a small, reassuring smile – all the while thinking… How the hell does she know?”
  • “This is next-generation tech.” She raises her eyebrows at me. “Most women get flowers or maybe jewelry,”[ referring to christian sending computer for ana’s BDSM research.
  • . “Are you going to come and help Ana with the move?” Her eyes flash. She’s challenging me[christian that is.]
  • “Ana, if he’s a jerk with commitment issues, dump him. Though I don’t really understand his commitment issues
  • “Grey – your cards are marked,”
e l James is completely aware that her fan-fic creation is a nut-case and nothing to be emulative about but i suspect that her clumsy editing did not make that clear and hence, when she feels people would understand, they don’t because she is herself is unaware that the tone of her novel oscillates between comedy and sarcasm to outright isolated instances of serious reflection on issues of consent and love. so you can never be sure that Anastasia is being sarcastic or exaggerating or serious or comic.keeping both factors in mind, lets us delve on what is Christian and why is he in a way much better character written than Edward Cullen.
there can be no debate that Edward Cullen looks to be swoon-worthy to half the population of teenagers in the world. i mean a girl like Bella whose parental attention for love is being prioritized according to their needs, would no wonder fall for a guy who seems to lavish his every attention and energy on her and so does his family. looking at the crux summary, it does not sound as romantic as we like to is it? even at the of 15 i was aware while reading it that feeling addicted to so much attention from her boyfriend and her family is preferable to Bella because Charlie and Renee certainly do not pay as much as attention as she deserves.
then comes Edward whose is full of angst that he was turned into a an immortal against his consent and still unable to assimilate his troubles even after having 100 years at his disposal. i have to say i don’t understand his problem. he is in peace with Carlisle but not his immortality? he feels rudderless but he was present during some revolutionary women empowerment movement, so handling Bella as if she is a porcelain, dumb, baby like object gets him off? and to top it off, surrounded by ostensibly exemplary example of equal partnership of Renee and Carlisle, so why is he so distressed?
knowing all this, his obsessive and isolating behavior with Bella looks nothing short of a disaster going to happen. and he really has no excuse or background to even explain.
e l James must have released this problem because she does some things right of the bat
  • made sure christian has human reasons to be distressed and his obsessive behavior. his parasomnia and night-terrors as well his deep-rooted self-loathing were effectively used for..
  • a pedophile Elena to pounce on a 15 year old christian. the united states law being so ambiguous  on BDSM , it makes more sense that christian is effectively isolated by Elena from his family, peers, any guiding figure( especially when he paid to get trained in BDSM clubs)
  •  his sexual interaction after that even was carefully controlled by Elena( she used to introduce new submissives to christian) so that nobody  can really understand and question him on their clinical relationship.
  • anastasia being a virgin , though sound very outdated and  sexist, does make sense so that we as an uninformed readers and Anastasia will be more willing to explore on why christian is so disturbing.

hence, in my next part, i will explain on how these factors make christian far more redeemable and understandable than his original outline.

mercifully absent from fifty shades movie…yet.

those who watched the movie of the same title fifty shades of grey , must be in a state of “ignorance is bliss” because they are missing such wonderfully, idiotic phrases and pitfall ideas from the internal monologue from anastasia.

without much further ado …

“hangs from his hips”

what does that even suppose to mean?? my best guess was at first that they are supposed to highlight how hot christian looks with his chiseled hip!? i am confused.   then i looked at it some more and then it looked even more absurd. keep repeating-HANG, FROM, HIS, HIPS. she does not not notice our hunky hero’s bicep or tri-cep or broad shoulders-leading me to believe he does have any- but hip! this is the most absurd thing anyone has ever noticed and that it was before their coffee date. then mercifully she notices those but only after he take off his shirt after sleeping with her-proving what a slow synapse, dullard she is. which Dakota does not need to add in her notes, whew!

 

 

despite the abs, if someone comes in front of me wearing pants there! i don’t think anybody will be impressed. what were we all thinking finding this sexy?

 

 

“inner goddess”

we first meet this absurd, dance master psyche of anastasia  when christian kisses her.not her! this inner goddess but Anastasia! i know you are confused how they are related but i assure the only way to her location is not so very helpful- “my very small…” so she is smaller than her and our first schizophreniac imaginary friend-like foster’s home for imaginary friends  but weirder and with more sex. basically she likes anything and everything with sex, thinking be damn! she is very boring in respect to her schizo sister……

“subconscious”

oh man but she is snarky! and so awesome she always harps exactly what a fool anastasia is, ironically being a product of that stupid brain herself. maybe that is why ana does not bother to name her beyond subconscious , like, snarky mistress or harpy maniac or -keeping with Ana’s love for old British literature- Lady Pompadour!.even anastasia admits such a wonderful part is so underused- not keeping with warnings about potential rapists and gun attacks.”try to be cool, Ana”- see ! what wonderful ideas she has! like that is even possible for ana.     assure you in all seriousness s.he is the gold mine of comedy, with once in a while ore in it.

“orange juice”

thirst quenching, refreshing, and the most holy as well, considering it is called divine over and over.enough said! Bad Books Good Times, you get all the credit for this.

“wine”

this is a personal peeve of mine on how this svelte characters, as they progress the novel become more svelte to my bewilderment.why you ask? i mean how the hell they manage to loose weight and make abs drinking 2-3 cups/ glasses of wine at minimum? it escalates to 5-10 glasses of one form of wine or cock-tail or other. from a student who never got drunk to a women who is on the verge of being drunk everyday this is a lot of constitution progress. i might as well mention they don’t eat much chicken as well, instead they opt for fish all the time.which i hate.i hate fish!

damn you!

announcements!

i have decided that from now on i will post on my blog on a timely manner and not this haphazard schedule i have been keeping.so from this week i will post weekly with 1 post each week on Saturday. i will talk about what i am already talking about , that is, fifty shades and the hilarity associated with it( and then we will move on to Gabriel’s inferno series)-which is why it is a bad book i guess 😉 and yay for me! 😀

 

fifty shades of stupid situations :-P

chapter 1

“i scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror.damn my hair-it just won’t behave,…”

okay so, this has to be the most idiotic opening line of any book whatsoever, what do we infer from this? yeah, our heroine is frustrated and cursing the world for making her look stupid.

I must not sleep with it wet.I must not sleep with it wet.Reciting this mantra several times, i attempt,once more, to bring it under control with the brush.”

oh golly, she is going to pontificate on it for so long as the first paragraph and we are now cheerfully informed that this girl is from the first world otherwise who cares about frizzy hair now? #firstworldproblems. also we need to know how is she going

to bring control.

on her hair.

with her.brush.( did you see what i did there? 😉 ..foreshadowing)

Kate is my roommate, and she has chosen today of all days to succumb to the flu….. As an exceptional entrepreneur and major benefactor of our University, his time is extraordinarily precious – much more precious than mine – but he has granted Kate an interview. A real coup, she tells me. Damn her extra-curricular activities. ….. Only for you, Kate, would I do this. 

she curses her friend hell and back for being ill, for being a in a leadership role in college and then does a complete 180° and gives us the cheesy line that she will waste her time for her. we understand, your inner monologue are not to be taken seriously. thanks for the heads up!( it also explains her future schizophrenia with naming and making her subconscious tut and dance. 😛 )

seriously though it has been three pages and only thing we could gather about her here is that Anastasia hates her hair wet during sleep, hates getting her time wasted, going for a interview she cannot bother to open Wikipedia for research and has a dear friend and roomie Kate ( full name yet unknown -_- )

“Excuse me one moment, Miss Steele.” She arches her eyebrow slightly as I stand selfconsciously before her. I am beginning to wish I’d borrowed one of Kate’s formal blazers rather than wear my navy blue jacket. I have made an effort and worn my one and only skirt, my sensible brown knee-length boots and a blue sweater. For me, this is smart. I tuck one of the escaped tendrils of my hair behind my ear as I pretend she doesn’t intimidate me

cardigan and shabby skirt at an office area which she knew is a real coup to get interview for and could not bother to go in her friend’s closet? if this is smart, then i do not want to know what she finds silly and this is a clear nod to fan-fiction roots #nodtostephenie meyer . and a immaculate looking receptionist looking at her funny is intimidating huh? okay so now we know Steele has low tolerance for freaking out, what will she do when she is will be put through many more miss professional power dressers in this office? freak some more of course.

I’ve never been comfortable with one-on-one interviews, preferring the anonymity of a group discussion where I can sit inconspicuously at the back of the room.

well that is not how group discussion works Miss cardigan-is-smart-in-business Steele.( kill me now, this chapter has already provides us with three instances of freak-ery from this girl 😛 )

I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet, and falling head first into the office. Double crap –

#nodtostepheniemeyer part-2.when is anything going to happen in this chapter, god! this book will take forever to tear through 😦

“Um. Actually–” I mutter. If this guy is over thirty then I’m a monkey’s uncle. In a daze, I place my hand in his and we shake. As our fingers touch, I feel an odd exhilarating shiver run through me. I withdraw my hand hastily, embarrassed. Must be static. I blink rapidly, my eyelids matching my heart rate.

are we all supposed to find this blikny-blik-blink routine heart-stopping? serisously, this book is always asking for too much

okay, i will concede for only pinkie pie!

 

see you soon for next chapter. buh-bye!

“jacobs”- why they irk me.

before diving right in the meat of the title i would like to say i am sorry; my hilarious commentary on fifty shades is being delayed by three more days because i blew through my net allowance pack by watching too many iisuperwomanii and screen junkies on YouTube! i know i am so selfish please don’t be mad 😦  …i do not want to risk my full fledged commentaries on the capricious nature of oldy-slow internet so i am doing a short follow up on my previous post .

the basic reason on why these “jacobs” irritate me to no end is quite simple and might be complicated to some people. i mean what is wrong with a female character having a male Mr friend zone? but here is the deal- all those damsels having a male friend in the guise of torch bearer, just seems to drive the point of women-men friendship sanctity in question and it is a big deal for me. my father had a transferable army job and the only constant i ever had was the love of my parents and friendship of some of the most amazing kids ( now grown-ups) i ever had the fortune to meet. girls, guys, teachers, lab assistants and many more, i realize the preciousness of it.

but then comes these whose only motivation to be such a great friend to our brown haired damsels is that they secretly nurse a crush on her just undermines their friendship. already the “bellas” have few to no friends whatsoever and then the only best friend who is good to them has romance and sexual attractions as their primary driving force behind their relationships puts a whole level of misogynistic concepts into recollection- women in many small or big backward society   still could not mingle with men from the outside because of this patriarchal notion of women “tempting men to sin”. Victorian period, especially early ones,  noted to have women and men and separate compartments even to the extent of marriage companionship( men in cigar rooms, women in parlor and nursery . two separate bedchambers for the elitist and rich)

now some might say, just one or two instances in some popular romance cannot imprint such a radical notion on our psyche and i am myself, advocate this idea that just because some idea of derogation( patriarchy, misogyny, elitism, classicism,fanaticism and so on…)  is there it does not mean it is endorsed or it could create such disconcerting implications.

but then i look at how those brown-haired girls have no other valuable companionship ( man or women) other than “Jacobs” .  emotional struggle from other relationship has token to zero value on page- bella from twilight struggles between Jacob and Edward and not her human life and vampire world.many recent romances like beautiful disaster series and fifty shades series and so on, have this problem.friendship, familial love, love of a different life seems to be missing and ,in my opinion, stephenie Meyer’s twilight series is the worst and a picture perfect example of this. e l James at least nips the bud quite early and clearly even if this bella/ana has her friend kate taken away to Barbados and has half page dialogue a whole book later( not bad but could have done better and passed the Bechdel test)

so i ask all writers of romance and other affiliated genre’s out there, why can’t a heroine have a dedicated male friend whose primary motivation is not love/sex? why can’t he feel passionately protective unless she is beautiful and frail to him? why can’t a lady have a strong friendship with someone who is a man and does not have bi-sexual, gay stereotype hanged around him( yes, i am looking at you Sylvia Day) ? why does the “bellas” in question have to be so damnably immature/stupid or plain ass as to “use” those “jacobs” so as to those Jacobs now have “legitimate” reason to insidiously make their pass at them? why can’t you all stop being so misogynistic?

PS: Sylvain Reynard recently scored my brownie point by making her eponymous heroine Raven have friend who is not at all interested to be “more” and his name is Patrick. as of yet Reynard’s florentine series has one book left, so let us see 😉

my commentary series on fifty shades series!

do keep coming for my soon to be published series of commentaries( hilarious and otherwise 😛 ) on chapters of the first book of the world-famous fifty shades series!

i cannot do it right away since i will be away for a week since i have exams on sociology. therefore, i am posting it so you could be assured that i am not running away anywhere 😀

 

see ya soon…

fifty shades of ..issues (and need to tackle)

many of the readers believe that fifty shades trilogy by E L James is a step back in the progress women are making( a book alone can do that?yes, maybe.but a draft-like manuscript like that?hyperbole.)so many of the writers on the net world write that it is a classic text for reference for domestic abuse and how a man behaves in it.on one hand i am glad people are talking more about the need to identify and recognizing abusers in the vicinity of personal space , but on the other hand i am not sure i am alright with putting the label on a character who is a complex tangle of abused, traumatized, manipulating and manipulated.i am no expert, just a reader and a student, so it is always possible i might say things people disagree with or i might say things which i should have known better but i still try to say it with my utmost sincerity and respect.
some of the points i mention are to be taken within the context of the trilogy with the present release of alternate perspective book( Grey)

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ISOLATION

it is usually the first indicators of a relationship which is turning it’s road in a unhealthy direction.the abuser usually tries to manipulate the victim to cut off ties from their peers and emotional support base, usually in gradual manner.they tend to lash out with verbal abuse, then physical abuse if they do not comply.
in fifty shades people see christian giving Anastasia an NDA to sign which legally stops her from talking.but then is it stopping her from talking about their relationship? i don’t think so.christian (and his lawyer) are obviously trying to contain the fact the relationship he had until Ana are not relationship per se but an arrangement of highly unconventional and definitely unorthodox sexual relationships.what would happen if anyone leaked this out?to the delight of gossip mongering and 19th century backward mentality media? people do not respond to unconventional well in first glance and especially a business man with a history with an older women.this is the arrangement Christian first tried Ana to mold herself into but it evolved into something more intimate.that is why when Ana asks what to do with the NDA in book 2 , christian straight up says “tear it up”.
Anastasia indeed talks with her friends and family about her relationship.she talks with her mom and a little with her step-father Ray and even her bestie Kate too(which Christian objects to because she is dating his nose-butting brother Eliot. convoluted, ugh!).she even told her the exact nature of her relationship off page in book 3!

CONTROL

so this is where the minefield lies.control is something Christian Grey uses a means to assure himself that he had left his past behind.his detailed contract is written in such a way that the women adhering to it within the time limit ( three day weekend for three months minimum) will never do anything which remotely triggers his  childhood trauma.his food lists to stop him from worrying they are not hungry and his mode of transport for them so they are not dead on road( oh god! talk about overreaction)
when Anastasia refuses to comply with food rules and sleep rules, what does christian do?he grumbles but accepts.he puts his foot down on the car part but eventually he has to accept it back when Ana returns it.
his uses of his BDSM contract to cope with his trauma of childhood.which is not a healthy outlook to his relationships he had but on the letter of it ,all his relationship were sane, safe and consensual.including the one with Anastasia. he lapses a handful of times during the course of the story in his controlling behavior of Ana which comes in the category of “power over”(Patricia Evans ) i,e:when he gave her hickeys(she was unaware) and cuff-marks(aware) for disobeying his wishes to not go topless on beach on her honeymoon.he did had a sound logic for his wishes(paparazzi) and Anastasia understood but he still goes ahead and does it to feel “in control” ,for which  he then promptly feels guilty and remorse within 24 hours( because he knows he was wrong and feels confused because if he had done it in past with other submissive they would not have questioned ).oh! and Anastasia was angry with him for it, just to inform  those who will find this situation for blaming Ana(again :-/ )

INTIMIDATION

this is something Anastasia feels quite often, especially in book 1, around christian.this feeling has sometimes stopped her saying what she wanted at that time but not at a later time though 😛
joking aside, intimidation is one way abusers maintain control in the relationship.
however, i never read her musing on feeling vulnerable by Christian’s strength. there is one time i.e: when christian cave-man carries her to his boathouse after he is mad. that Ana did not inform him about her trip to Georgia. so he carries her off so she does not trip.on.her.high heels.yes, the banal of all banal reasons, to prevent her fall on unpaved grassy lands. lol! oh, and one another when he calls Ana’s bluff when she does not go to his apartment( a lunatic is gunning after her but she does not know and idiot christian just expect her to follow him apparently.) that one is an example of man-handling not physical intimidation.
also, christian also gets “mad” when Ana clamps her legs under the dinner table at his parents’s but what is his reaction?

[christian]“You said no.”
[Ana]“What?” No to what?
“At the dinner table, with your legs.” Oh… that’s what this is all about.
“But we were at your parents’ dining table.” I stare up at him, completely bewildered.
“No one’s ever said no to me before.  And it’s so – hot.”

“You’re mad and turned on because I said no?” I breathe, astonished.
“I’m mad because you never mentioned Georgia to me.  I’m mad because you went drinking with that guy who tried to seduce you when you were drunk and who left you when you were ill with an almost complete stranger.  What kind of friend does that?  And I’m mad and aroused because you closed your legs on me”……..

 

.. “All mine.  Do you understand?” He eases his finger in and out as he gazes down at me, gauging my reaction, his eyes burning. “Yes, yours,” I breathe as my desire, hot and heavy, surges through my bloodstream

apparently Ana finds this sexual dominance arousing.however sexist the idea of “mine” being is, being turned on by it is the character’s prerogative and nobody’s business but nobody will debate about the sexism of it now, will they?oh no! women have to be the victim!*rolls eyes*

POSSESSIVENESS

true love offers freedom.it does not cage you.does not constrain you. it might sound flattering in some exceptional context but it does just sound controlling and is a sexist idea rooted in patriarchy.
people say that christian tries to keep Anastasia all to himself and does not allow her much freedom during courtship and marriage.he feels jealous of any male attention she gets.you know, while i am doing this blog i have a copy of Robert Browning’s dramatic monologue My Last Duchess ( do check it out, it is like silence of the lamb but in a short poetic form)

christian has so many negative self image of himself that when for the first time he has feelings for someone, he immediately sees any male attention as a threat to his affections for Ana. i am not excusing jealousy as an acceptable behavior.it  is natural to feel jealous now and then when you are in a relationship.but they way you react is a different matter whatsoever.christian just keeps pointing to Ana that there are plenty of guys who want to his place(which she does not believe) but he is not angry at her or blaming her for it.far from it, he just uses this to point out that Anastasia is a desirable women(which she does not pay attention to)

“You have no idea how attractive you are, do you?”
I flush. Why’s he going on about this?
“All those boys pursuing you—that isn’t enough of a clue?”
“Boys? What boys?”
“You want the list?” Christian frowns. “The photographer, he’s crazy about you, that boy in the hardware store, your roommate’s older brother. Your boss,” he adds bitterly.
“Oh, Christian, that’s just not true.”
“Trust me. They want you. They want what’s mine.” He pulls me against him, and I lift my arms to his shoulders, my hands in his hair, regarding him with amusement. “Mine,” he repeats, his eyes glowing possessively. “Yes, yours.” I reassure him, smiling. He looks mollified,

when he asserts that she is “his” he basically wants her to assert that she desires him and wants to be with him just as much he does.if it would have been otherwise then he couldn’t have given a damn about anyone in “competition”.this is an authorial choice which shows how cripplingly insecure and self-hating he is behind the self-assured and intimidating facade he presents to the world.

NARCISSIST

“Narcissists live within the confines of their egocentric world; other humans function as props for the narcissist’s performance.”-Dorothy McCoy
christian is a person who cannot stand the idea anyone suffering hunger.he cannot stand the idea even his one-arm-distanced submissive to be unsafe.but he is not a text book definition narcissist  when you look at him.he avoids intimacy with his previous submissive as means to prevent them from physical intimacy which will involve touching him.now you would say, that is narcissistic, but he has a phobia.A PHOBIA!. he cannot abide it before and further discouraged it by making them avoid eye contact and giving separate sleeping space because of his NIGHT TERRORS( again a not healthy idea especially if you obfuscate truth about these issues by the name of rules) .every  critic i came across just blots these humongous health issues and takes them out of context, which is quite sad.
when he meets and negotiates his relationship with Ana, he does stipulate these measures too, but thanks to authoritarian inventions, christian finds he does find sharing bed space for sleep soothing and even loves it when she maintains eye contact.however, phobia is not going away like magic now will it? it takes almost the whole trilogy to overcome this issue .

LACK OF CONSENT

let me clear.the book is advocating consent. the relationship on the whole is consensual too. Anastasia is aware every step of the way in what she wants even if she has reservations about the BDSM aspect :

“I want us to work, but I am terrified of the depth of feeling I have for you and the dark path you’re leading me down.  What you are offering is erotic and sexy, and I’m curious, but I’m also scared you’ll hurt me– physically and emotionally”-ANASTASIA fifty shades of grey

he replies:

“I am annoyed that as soon as you put some distance between us, you communicate openly and honestly with me.  Why can’t you do that when we’re together?”

“As your Dom, I would expect you to accept whatever I spend on you with no argument.  Incidentally, tell your mother too.”

“I apologize for frightening you.  I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent.  Do you really think I’d let you travel in the hold?  I offered you my private jet for heaven’s sake.”  “you are the one with all the power.  Not I.  In the boathouse you said no.  I can’t touch you if you say no – that’s why we have an agreement – what you will and won’t do.  If we try things and you don’t like them, we can revise the agreement.  It’s up to you – not me. “

this is the crux of the struggle Anastasia has from within.she likes what christian is offering but as she is new to anything related to sexuality( hence, insecure) and was not into BDSM , she has reservation about the confusing line those rules imply and where does it apply sexually and otherwise.by the time book 3 rolls around even that issue is resolved.she trusts him and knows he won’t hurt her in any way.
there are certain places where lack of consent is disturbing though,
a) when christian sleeps beside Ana when she was stupefied after getting drunk in book 1.
b) removing her old car without asking her.not cool.not cool at all.
c) applying moratorium on spending at her  company so she cannot go with her sleazy boss jack out of town for symposium( although it is a sound decision money-wise and safety wise.it should have rang an alarm bell when Ana got the history that jack’s previous PA don’t retain jobs for more than three months max.!)
d) oh! buying the company she works for.oh my god! his reasoning “to keep you safe”!!(personal issues gone haywire!!!!!although he never interferes with her career intentionally but still it never goes away that he has a lot of control of her career)
i mean he could just hire extra guards and body guards.oh wait! he did that too*rolls yes*
e) and he kept photographic evidence of his previous submissives as an insurance against exposure( they knew he is taking their photos , just not the fact that he is using it for other than leisure purpose)

STALKER
he is a stalker through and through.he even stalks her after she broke up with him to check if she is okay and also contemplated suicide by suffocation in the same chapter(which just makes me sad and question his mental state.)
the only consolation is that this trope is not just ignored in the narrative and Anastasia straight up tells him to check out more shrinks for his “stalker tendencies”.she  has this to say for it.no helping it but at least she knows it is not right:

“One minute he rebuffs me, the next he sends me fourteen-thousand-dollar books, then he tracks me like a stalker.  And for all that, I have spent the night in his hotel suite, and I feel safe.  Protected.  He cares enough to come and rescue me from some mistakenly perceived danger”

“[christian]“I tracked your cell phone Anastasia.”
Oh, of course he did.  How is that possible?  Is it legal?  Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain, but somehow, because it’s him, I don’t mind. “

all in all i would suggest that christian is complicated but he is not a full blown abuser.he is secretive, condescending, sexist even but abusive? i am not sold on that idea.the idea that Anastasia is with him because she thinks her “love will change him” trope  is really not paying attention to  the text.she left him when he could not agree with her, when his and her interests diverged and was willing to do so again .it is only when christian agrees to open up, try it differently, a new approach to their lifestyle and relationship that she comes back and sticks with him with patience because he tries and succeeds for most part to his promises.he is genuinely sorry and feels abhorrence when he faces a real distressed Anastasia who does not like extreme aspects of BDSM. it is imperative that people talk more about what is a healthy relationship and what is not and i am so glad people are talking more about it however, i am not okay with people judging a whole slew of readers who enjoy these books for their own reason or using it’s out of context texts to condemn the author or the fans.

this is my first time serious attempt at blogging and i know i am not an expert in many things but i will try to listen and improve if there are scope for change .whether it is in the idea or theme or just basic premise or a definition of the article i am writing about.